You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
