i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
