hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
