my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
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