the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
