apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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