Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
