No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
