I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What a dumb baby whore.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
