at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
