another moral hangover. fuck.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
