Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
