i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
