Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
