True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
