anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I checked into jail on foursquare
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize