She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
