You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize