Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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