Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
