he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
