worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize