I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
