Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize