Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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