Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
