Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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