Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you would pick up someone in the library
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize