chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
this will be a night to untag.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
