so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
