Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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