Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
