I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
