Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
