Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I have post one night stand depression
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