oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
