what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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