I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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