JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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