names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it was like eating out sand paper
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
