Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
