Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
