He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
