if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
