If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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