would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
