I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
