Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
