David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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