You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize