I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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