He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
