you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
