i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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