I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
COCAINE IS GR8
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
