All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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