I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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