So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
