dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize