i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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