break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
