Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize