At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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