Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
