u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
