While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
