If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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