Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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