your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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