btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize