Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
