Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
