I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
