I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
