I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
