no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
