HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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