i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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