they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My vagina is officially offended.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
