There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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