how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
